Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
