I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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