I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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