Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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