office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
