Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
