Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
