i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
