Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
