i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
