Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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