i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
