He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
