she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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