first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
