You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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