I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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