im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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