2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
