Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
