I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
