well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize