so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
