I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
