the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
