you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
