so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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