Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize