I cockslap morals
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
