when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
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We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
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Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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