I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
