Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you traded sex for a burrito?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
