Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
