I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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