I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
