I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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