Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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