I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
