I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
