I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
