Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize