dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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