My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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