hell yes lets make some ravioli
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
