Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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