I like my sex mixed with concussions.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
