you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Everything about him screamed your future.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
