Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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