oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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