we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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