before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
