Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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