My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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