hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
