I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
