I cockslap morals
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
